Writings in the Dark

...

About midnight last night, I went to bed. I turned off the lights then laid down. But my eyes were open and the only light I see is that of coming from the outside of the window. But then I saw fire, I felt it. It's a familiar feeling of burning. Then I heard two sounds: one that's coming form the electric fan and the other is coming from me. Slowly, the sound that's coming from me, similar to the pounding of drums, overcame my ears. The sound became louder and louder. As I examined closely, I realize that it's coming from the inside of the middle of my chest. It vibrated throughout my entire body, it was deafening.

Then I decided to pay attention to what I am thinking, I realize it was him again that's inside my head. For two months he brightened my days but he brought me doom the very day he decided to turn his back from me. I can even remember that day, the exact scenario and how it looked like.

"I'm back." I gasped as I realize I am still here in this room covered with darkness. Then I decided to get my ballpen and some scratch paper and drafted this post. You know, I can write in the dark, it's one talent I am really proud of, lol.

Then suddenly LOL changed its meaning to me. LOL -- Labor Of Love.

I have to sleep already but I... am afraid for reasons that's too much to mention.

Maybe I was just missing him.

...

RAIN

***


I sure love the rain.

I'll call him RAIN.


Oh, how he pours outside on a supposedly typical day, I swear I don't wanna look right behind the curtain. I'm hearing every drop, and every drop reminds me of him. It was a cold stormy day as I sit in front of the computer. I am here for work, not for another nostalgic moment. I've thought too much, felt too much, dreamt too much that I wish I could just forget. FORGET - because everyday and every night I seem to remember.

I hate Greenwhich, I hate McDonald's, I hate the butterfly garden and La Vista resort. I hate our place, I hate myself for not hating him.

I'd rather go shopping.

Still, no one can decode me. I need help from those that I want to help me.

It's not you, it's me. I'm broke, I'm incomplete. If you were to read my previous words they are more of About Me. I've been hearing myself too much to the point it could be called selfishness.

Now, back to you. I will wish for a star to fall in one of Pasonanca's hill tonight to ask for a miracle - forget teh rain. You see, I started the previous sentence with "I" again.

The rain never failed to fail me. The rain fulfilled the prophecies of people around me - those that he thought hates him.

I am writing to keep me sane. After all that has happened, I sure love the rain.



***
It's his birthday tomorrow. And... it will be just another typical day for me. I hope it rains.

***

SMART TAKE

"The curse of being a smart woman is having the difficulty in finding a smarter man"

Once

Once in your life there'll be that someone that gives you a unique feeling.. :)